snatchbot.net

I used to like the Internet, I really did. However over the years a number of things have happened which have caused my love to slowly fade like the withered and faded stockings of the long tired cocaine riddled street walker. Where I once turned to you for vast wealth of information and insight I find now only misinformation and the rambled discussion of preteen pack animals.

Im sure I am making a point here so stick with me.

1. MySpace

While I am sure that at the time it seemed like a great idea to make your self a profile, list all of your favorite hobbies, likes and dislikes I am here to tell you otherwise. Using giant tiled .jpg images, bright green text and blaring the worlds worst music this side of 7 tracks to poop to does not all convince me that you are a wonderful and fun loving person who I should contact without delay so I can just be OH SO cool. Oh and on another note I dont care how big you managed to blow your breasts up in photoshop, tYp!iNg L!k3 Thi$ DoEs NOt Mak Y0U c()OL. It simply reinforces my opinion that in your case “Hooker” may actually be a good choice of career even if it is your only one.

Oh and taking a picture of you and all your mates dressed like women (im referring to the “men” with this one) with more makeup then ronald macdonald on a big night out DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAND! It also does not make you the following:

• Edgy
• Hip
• Out there
• Different

Hell the only word running through my head is GGGGGAY. A backwards baseball cap and an IQ in line with that of a goldfish does not make you a gangster, it makes you a redneck, also commonly known as “white trash” or “under achiever”. Im sure that there are plenty of others ways you can convince people that your penis is bigger then it actually is without trying to convince people the “man is getting you down” or “they holding a brother back” when the only brotherhood your a part of is the welfare line. Now do me a favor and fuck off your “myspace” and crawl back to “your space”.