[Setting the scene]
It’s 3am in the morning, you sit in the basement of your mothers house and stare with the fury of a thousand angry fire ants at the screen of your PC as you heat up another burrito in the microwave oven that you keep on a box in the corner of the room. The night has been long and dark, in fact you feel as if you have been awake for days, the battle taking place on your screen has taken a heavy toll on your body.
You take a quick glance at your burrito, it appears to of finished warming. You remove it from the microwave and attempt not to slam it down in one go, hell dominoes Pizza does not open for at least another four hours and you must conserve energy for the coming battle less you pass out due to lack of greasy invaluable nourishment.
You place the burrito down on the table and turn your attention back to the screen, panting as you do from having walked the two metres back to your desk. You can see that the battle on your screen is being lost, your men tired and fatigued from battle. In a last ditch effort to rally your men against the opposing army you raise your hefty man arms high above the keyboard and bring them down like the thunderous hammers of Thor himself and proceed to commence your attack:
“OMG FAGG0TS U GUYZ IS SO FUCKING GAY. EVERON KNOZ THAT PLAYSTATYIN IS THE BEST NUBS!!11ononE XBOX IS GAY AND WEE IS 4 K!dz!”
You lean back in your chair, your thunderous weight shaking the very foundations of the house itself. You wipe the sweat from your brow and smile as you place the last of the burrito into the gaping hole in the middle of your face. You rest easy knowing that for now at least, the battle is at an end.
[Scene Ends]
The above scene while perhaps over generalised is the impression that I am given everytime I read a forum or blog article referencing any of the current generation consoles or even in some cases PC gaming.
The current generation of consoles has divided people in ways which I have not previously seen during such a console war. I wonder if this is simply because of the age and demographic of each console owner or is it simply the fact that more people then ever before have access to the internet to allow the rampant shit that they spill to be heard by the many. These people often result to insults, anger and threats of violence to get their point across and to bash yours should you not have the same opinion when it comes to the right “Choice” of console.
The arguments presented are often ill thought out and some even border on the downright hilarious! It is with the above in mind that I have decided to sink down to their level and finally weigh in on this hotly debated topic for the amusement of you and others.
First off the bat I think that we will take a look at the following argument:
1. “I bought a xbox360 cause im a hardcore gamer and I need hardcore games so I can be like you know hardcore”
This has be the funniest of the so called arguments for buying one console over another. Whenever this argument is presented I proceed to expel whatever liquid I should be drinking at the time over my keyboard like some crazed pervert with a fetish for the nets darker side.
What exactly makes a hardcore gamer you might wonder? And what makes them hardcore exactly?
While actual photos are hard to come by given the low chance of these people ever leaving their basement to join the living, limited snaps have been taken. The following is an image presenting the average hardcore gamer in their natural habitat:
- A hardcore gamer in his natural enviroment. You should probally bow to him.
If these “Hardcore” gamers are to believed they bench 300+ the gym, sleep with thousands of women, eat nought but steel and are thunderous men of wonder. Woman swoon at their feet in anticipation of what game these Hardcore fellows will load up next on thier xboxes.
On a more serious note what the hell is hardcore about gaming in the first place regardless of what you are playing? Does choosing Gears of war over say something like that Katamari or Super Smash Brothers really make you harder and more awesome then the average man? Who exactly makes this distinction? What do they get for being so hardcore? Is there some sort of awards ceremony where we give these people the key to the city for being just so awesome? These people present playing an FPS as the ticket to bitches and good times when in reality it does not make their choice of activity any more appealing to the general public then the ability to rattle off a listing and history of every season of Star Trek.
The very arrogance of these people striking off countless genres and game series which helped to build this industry is amusing enough but to actually claim that the very fact they do so is what makes them so awesome in the first place is a little hard to swallow. I feel sorry for these sort of people due to the amount of great games that they miss out on as they refuse to drop the jelly donut and their copy of Halo and perhaps try something that has a little more variety to it rather then shoot, jump and strafe.
2. The xbox and wii are both failures because I am an awesome sony guy and I have Blu Ray and all this other awesome home media shit so suck it. You have to buy all these add on for your xbox before shit even comes close to touching me! eat it!
This is the other argument that you will primarily see during the current generation. This argument is normally put forward by owners of the PlayStation3. The crux of their argument is that the higher price of the PS3 is warranted because in order to get the same experience from the cheaper xbox you must actually add extra items to the xbox which come at a hefty price.
The point that these people always seem to miss is that you dont NEED the the extra purchases for your xbox to actually you know, play games. Out of the box both the PS3 and xbox can both do what they are primarily intended to do. You can however if you wish add on to the core xbox however it is not needed to simply play games, you know the point of these things in the first place. Despite what these people would like to believe the Add Ons are NOT required to enjoy the system.
I actually like the choice rather then being forced to pay the premium for something that I may or may not ever actually use in the first place.
The point above brings to mind however an issue that has confused me in regards to the current arguements about both the xbox and the PS3. Througout the years I have been primarily a PC gamer and during the last few generations of consoles my primary point in defence of my PC being my primary gaming machine was always that it could do other things rather then just gaming which made me feel that the cost of maintaining and keeping a gaming PC was justified. This was always heavily refuted to me by the console people who would inform me that they dont care about the ability to watch movies, go on the net, check mail, play music or anything else. They just wanted to game and consoles gave them awesome graphics for a very low cost and they could see no reason to choose a PC over a console.
Why the hell now then is the primary argument for the high cost of the PS3 and to a lesser extent the xbox the fact that they can do many other things apart from just gaming? I mean hello welcome to the last ten years of PC gaming I am glad to see that you guys have caught up. You are acting as if somehow online play and downloadable content was created by Microsoft and Sony. It’s rather funny to watch as those who paid the PS3 premium justify their purchase by spouting technology that the rest of us have had free access to for years.
The primary reason I can see for the current sales figures between the xbox and the PS3 is the simple fact that while the vendors themselves may of decided to target a different market with their consoles the actual market for these devices has remained the same as it did two, five or even ten years ago. People just want to play games, thats it. They want to spend as little as possible, configure it with a minimum of fuss and just start playing. You know, the whole reason these people did not simply buy a PC in the first place.
If you are in the market for a console to play games and just too play games you are not going to choose the console which is vastly more expensive compared to the other just because it includes a specific media format over the other, I am sorry but it just does not happen. If you are in the market for both sure but I just really dont see it swaying the average console purchase especially in the current economic conditions.
This rant has gone on way to long and I have drifted far off track because I am too tired to continue. Let me just point out before I go that you may feel free to flame me as should you feel the need to do so because you take offense at my article.
This article is opinion and should be taken as such, I am not going to tell you which console you should or should not buy and nor do I care.
Dude, you’ve got an excellent point. The whole fanboy-ism for consoles (and even the ones that will support PC and not acknowledge the merits of a console) is ridiculous.
As you know Jay I’m more of a PC gamer as well, however like you said in your article there is a benefit to console gaming. And that is the reason why people will be happy paying the lesser price for a 360 I think (despite the still limited amount of decent games on PS3)- and that is because people who just want to game want to spend the least amount of money possible, have the most variety, and most importantly, do it like this –
1) Pay money, get box of stuff
2) take box home, plug cables in
3) Put disc in – play immediately
And you can do that with a console. PC gaming will always be the home of simulators such as flight sims, and the real “hard core” (there’s that word again) car racing sims, But console gaming has its good points. It’s just such a shame that the fanboys bring it all crashing down. The wii is as successful as it is because there is a niche market for non gamers, the console itself and games on that platform also appeal to some gamers too, who I think can appreciate the more social aspect of this “party console”.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but you took the time to write the article so I thought I’d comment.
I tell you what though, even though I don’t own a console anymore, our household has a PS3 and 360 in it, and it still would get used what, only a few times a week… and we’re all gamers here!
Nice article mate
James
People should also play FPS on pc’s
Also, Xbox Live is fucking irritating at best when you have a bunch of 14 year old dweebs shouting random crap over the voice chat the whole time.
Back in my day, we had 8 bit graphics and side scrolling games – and we liked it!
So this is what you do when you aren’t at my house.
Its the eternal battle for the human soul isn’t it. People are not content to be happy with their purchase of any console, its their need to justify it to others. And why stop just there. Now that I’ve told you how awesome my choice is I’m going to tell you, why yours was wrong. I own a wii and a PC and love both of them on their own merits. I don’t own a xbox or PS3 not for any real reason other than I’m not a fan of the controllers I much prefer mouse and keyboard. I hear people talk about their gaming on other consoles and good for them. They have fun and enjoy their gaming.
Death to the all fan boys. Your worse than religious zealots but without the benefit of killing yourselves for your beliefs. So I’ll make you all a deal, the first one of you to post here with the intent of setting yourself on fire, to the death. I will buy the console of your choosing after reading about it in a newspaper.
@Spengbab
Too right.